My baby's growing up so FAST!

As I'm writing this I can hardly believe that I now have no children under the age of 8. Yes, that's right 8 years old. I can still remember all three of my boys in diapers, and running around crazy, I kept thinking I was going to pull my hair out and they were never going to grow up! Now, I sit here almost in tears thinking those days are so far behind me. Before I know it, they will be off on missions, going to college and getting married... I think of the things that have happened since my first child was born. He is now 11 and 1/2 and doesn't let me forget it that he's a BIG boy and wants to be treated like a MAN, except when it comes to chores and being told what to do... Then there is my middle baby who is no baby. He's only 1/2 and inch shorter than his elder brother. Some of you may say that may not be that big of a deal. Well, my oldest "baby" is 5 ft 7 inches tall. My middle "baby" is 5 ft 6 1/2 inches tall, and my youngest "baby" is 4 ft 10 inches tall... and he's the one that just turned 8! He will be getting baptized, starting cub scouts and growing up even faster. He is so GROWN up. He is the most responsible of all three of my children. I watch him and think of the blessing he has been to our family. I love my boys so much! My goodness, why do they have to grow up! Can't they stay small a little longer. I've been saying that for years! they have outgrown their little bodies so fast, by the time i was getting used to their size compared to their age, they sprouted again and the vicious cycle continues. I have been told that they will slow down their growth many times. Still waiting for that as I replace "high-water" pants every couple of months, no holes, no tears, just either too short or their waist is finally growing a few inches and needs them a little wider. I have one who is in 12 slims, (my 8 year old) and they are "high-waters" on him, but if I buy 14 slims, they will not fit his waist. He's too stinking skinny. He has to wear a belt with his 12's as it is. I noticed the other day how long Braeden's neck is getting. He used to be so chunky and squishy and loving... now he's TALL ... SUPER TALL... and everything is getting longer, his hands, his feet, his neck... his torso... even his legs. The only thing is that his stomach area that used to be rolls and rolls of flub... is now a 6 pack and staying so skinny. He's almost wiry. with this huge bobble of a head on top. So cute!!! I have some amazing boys and they are growing so fast, I feel if I blink too long they will be gone. I enjoy them as they are now. Watching them play with their nerf guns, fanoodle light sabers, and running around the house with endless energy. Their faces full of smiles and learning along the way. I hear stories of how they are turning into wonderful young men. I hope that it continues that way.

A neighbor who was picking his daughter up from Mikey's 8th birthday party this week. Stopped Bill and said how impressed with the our boys he is. Bill was a little taken aback. He asked in what way. Braeden (my sweet boy) was looking for some friends to play with, and could find none available to play. As he was walking around the neighborhood (unbeknownst to me or his father) noticed a gentleman in our neighborhood digging in his yard. Braeden asked what he was doing and the gentleman said digging footers and a slab for a soon to be pored concrete surface. Braeden asked if he could help... He said sure if you want to, Braeden then picked up a shovel and started helping to dig. (can you say impressive). I was so impressed when Bill relayed that story to me! My child who I can't get to pick up his clothes in his room, or pick his toys up, is so thoughtful and genuine that he helped a neighbor dig in his yard (performed unasked for service!) I then realize that it isn't about the clothes on the floor, or the toys they refuse to pick up or the messy house... It's about teaching them how to serve their fellow man! I stand a few inches taller, realizing that I'm not that much of a failure. I think sometimes I get so bogged down with the cluttered, messy house, the dirty dishes, and dirty clothes. That I forget to notice the boys are turning into men by watching and doing the important things of serving others and being kind to one another. I have been so blessed to have been given such wonderful children, from a wonderfully loving heavenly father!

I struggle some days with being a mother and worried about how they will turn out, and if I've done all I can to help them be honorable, productive, sweet, kind, generous, strong men when they get older. When with stories like the one above grace my ears I think in that moment that I'm doing an o.k. job.  Then, the house stays a little messier, the boys are a little messier, but we are focusing on more important things such as building a strong character in a young man, than building a shrine to live in.  One tear is shed as they grow more and more each passing day. it goes too fast. With your little ones, don't get too caught up in the house cleaning and the dirty clothes, there will always be time for that later. But our children will only be little for a little while. From a mother missing those precious, tender years and days of their "little" childhood. Take TONS of pictures, record memories of things they said, teach them love, compassion by example. Speaking doesn't work, it's action. I can't always tell them I love them, I have to show them by giving of my time, energy and love. I ask all the time "Do you know I love you?" "REALLY love you?" They in turn answer "YES" As long as they know that I love them, no matter how mad or frustrated I get, or whether or not the house is clean, or dinner on the table on time, or even a shower/bath it has been a GREAT day!

I have a cousin who had a little baby boy recently and seeing his cute precious face and how little he is. I can't help remember when my boys were littler (they weren't even as small as he was born). At how time flies and how I seem to be moving at a slow pace, and they are flying by. I look at pictures from a year ago, or even a few months and they have grown so much. Their faces are different, their demeanor is different. They are growing up.  Enjoy the small stuff and climb those mountains together. one day at a time. and sometimes, one second, one minute or one hour at a time, cherishing every moment because before you know it,...

they are all grown up!

Recent Developments

Well, here's the latest on the Clark Clan. I'm still looking for work... nothing even promising on the hunt. I'm going to be starting school in January online. Yeah me! I should be finished with my associates by May of 2011. I'm going to school for an associates as a Medical Administrator. It's a start.

Bill is getting his resume ready. We are trying to be prepared, if he is laid off next year. His department said they need to get rid of 50% of their workforce in the US so we're trying to be hopeful he'll keep his job, but not sure. We'll be sending it out this week to lots of places... So if you know anyone looking for an amazing Senior Unix System Administrator. Let us know. We're entertaining all options right now. Not that he wants to quit. He loves his job. He loves working for Aol. but there is only so long you can avoid getting laid off. He's been there for 10 years +, and has been thru several (like 20) layoffs. He's riding his bike a lot these days and loves it. He's itching to go play paintball with the boys. Maybe when we go to WV they'll get to play.

Bryen, Braeden and Mikey are doing very well in school. They love it here. Mikey has to wear a patch over his left eye to help the right eye get stronger. It may take 6 months + to help it but we'll check it in 3 months to be sure it's working. Or he'll need to get surgery. Other than that they are all healthy and doing well. :) What a blessing.

We are loving living in Utah. We're enjoying our church callings and loving our ward family here. Last night we made chocolate covered pretzel sticks with caramel and chocolate with sprinkles on some. They are yummy. We're enjoying the snow we've been getting periodically. Today we're getting a good one. The grass is completely covered and so is the road and sidewalks.

We're hoping for good weather on our journey back to WV for Christmas Break. We'd like to make it 3 days, but not sure with the weather outlook. It may take us longer since the midwest is looking at lots of snow over the next several days. I just hope I can leave the house clean and laundry done. That will be a feat in and of it's self.

Well that's the update on all of us here. May you all have a wonderful Christmas. Remember the reason for the Season. Our Lord and Savior's Birth :) Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving

During this time of year we typically list and acknowledge more things for which we are thankful. I see this as an opportunity to "kick it up a notch" instead of only limiting my thankfulness during this time of year. I try to post lots of things for which I am thankful for. I usually list them as blessings. I am thankful for my family, my children and my husband. I'm thankful for my Savior and the knowledge I have of who I am, where I'm from, my purpose here on the earth, and where I'm going. I am thankful for the ability to be a stay at home mom. I'm thankful for our home. I'm thankful for a great school that my children have to attend. I'm thankful for missionaries who share the gospel to others. I'm thankful for a prophet who leads and guides us on the earth today. I'm thankful for christmas music. I'm thankful for uplifting movies. I'm thankful for the internet and it's wealth of knowledge it shares with me when I ask a question. I'm thankful for food. I'm thankful for snow. I'm thankful for pies and yummy goodness that I am able to taste. I'm thankful for good health. I'm thankful for a working oven and utilities. I'm thankful for wonderful FRIENDS! I'm thankful for so much, I am thankful for YOU!

Today I have been baking up a storm! I've made 4 pumpkin pies (I tried two different recipes to see which one I like best). I made 2 macadamia nut pies (I used macadamia nuts instead of pecan since Bill's allergic). Two different kinds of Rice Krispie treats. and now ChexMix is baking in the oven. I'm going to crock pot my ham tomorrow, so I can use the oven to make rolls and green bean casserole. We'll also have homemade mashed potatoes. Shrimp cocktail and sparking grape juice. I'm so thankful for the bounty for which we have.

I am going to miss my extended family in Texas, New Mexico, Michigan, New Jersey, Boston, California, and West Virginia. I hope they have a wonderful holiday and know that we will be thinking about them. This is the first Thanksgiving we have not spent with family in a very, very long time. If ever. It feels strange. It feels very foreign. No family to visit with. No friends even to share the holiday with. If any of my cousins in Provo aren't going out of town for the holiday, you should come by. We have a feast, and have plenty to share. It's a blessing and a curse being the oldest girl of seven kids. I cook for an army.

I'm not sure if I'll be watching the Macy's day parade tomorrow. I'll be enjoying cooking :)

To one and all have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

More winds of change

Well, here we are we made it almost a full year with a dog... what a feat in and of it's self. However, Joi is now on her way to Indianapolis IN. She is going back to the breader we originally got her from. It is expensive to fly a dog... can I just say... wow. crazy! We were having such a hard time getting the boys to follow the training instructions with her. Everytime we'd tell them... don't yell at her, talk normally to her, don't all tell her a command at the same time... one at a time. on and on and on it went... they didn't listen. She kept jumping on everyone. She wouldn't stop pulling on the leash. WE tried everything. Nothing worked. We had to get the prong collar and even then she tested it alot, then she would just jump on us. She would eat her leash and everything. What an adventure. She is about to have a wonderful experience being trained by a professional... and one who loves her so much. WE are so grateful for the breaders (our friends) who trusted us with her and are willing to accept her back and know that we love them and her. So now what is in store for us.. well, we'll just be a one pet family for a long time. Socks the cat is perfectly fine being an only animal. He I think prefers being the only one around.. pet wise that is... :) He's a good cat.

The boys had "Storybook Day" at school aka Halloween celebrations... They dressed up and had fun. The catch with the Storybook day was that they were allowed to dress up only if they had a book they were associated with... Let's just say... The boys had a blast... Bryen was a Zombie... his book Zombie Zone from A to Z Mysteries. Braeden was a Pirate... his book was Pirates from Magic Tree House the companion book to Pirates at High Noon. Mikey was BumbleBee from Transformers... Can you guess his book? His book was Transformers Animated... What fun. I volunteered in the Library and was from the book Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs... An egg on a Tree :) I know cute right :) I would go to class rooms and ask them What book am I from... and they all said Green Eggs and Ham... :) but only thing was I wasn't green :) Those are our costumes for Halloween. Bill will be Bacon. yea I know... cute. Together we are Bacon and Eggs :)

Now to sell off the Dog stuff we still have, and start saving for christmas. I'm hoping to visit Katy in New Mexico for Thanksgiving but still waiting to hear about her work schedule. I'm gonna start on my book. Continue to look for work and volunteer at the school. I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween :)

Days with the boys

I've been able to spend a few days with my boys this week, as I've had the pleasure of working from home. On Monday I got a call from the school nurse she mentioned that Bryen (my oldest) had a strange rash on his face. I didn't know why he would've gotten a rash, he didn't have one that morning when I dropped him off at the sitters. Their sitter said he didn't have one when she dropped him off at school either. So we were in a quandry as to why he had a rash. He made it thru school and then when I got home I noticed it... His brother Braeden had some on his cheeks too... really strange. We put some Hydrocortizone cream on it and gave him some benedryl for the itching. I took them to the doctors yesturday and he said it was a form of rotovirus or rodovirus... something like that. He said it was a quick moving virus and was here quickly and gone quickly. Nothing really to do for it but wait it out. He mentioned that what I was already doing for it was good. but not to exceed 5 days with the cortisone cream or it would stain their skin. That i'd never heard before. But luckily... this morning, neither had a rash on their face and were back at school. So just as soon as it came it was gone. So I stayed home yesturday and today they are so fun to have around. I hope that I can make it a perminate thing working from home at least a few days a week. I like having daylight with the boys and doing homework with them. It is hard with my 2 hr commute to spend much time with the boys.



I got a haircut this weekend and It's too short. It's really short. I seem to get haircuts too short. It hasn't been this short in years. Bill doesn't like it he said luckily it will grow out. He is hoping it grows fast. That is one way I know it's a bad haircut.



I enjoy reading my cousin Mimi's blog. I get uplifted from reading her blog. I am encouraged to know that relationships where husbands are truely equals with their spouses do exist. I am working on that in mine, but it is really hard. My husband isn't as supportive of the things that I need to do as I would like. I have a hard time getting him to even make dinner when I'm so swamped. It would be nice if he helped out around the house more. Maybe I wouldn't be so swamped all the time. I keep feeling like I can't breathe... my house is so messy all the time now. I can't even think sometimes to make dinner. I am grateful for those truely blessed in my family who have wonderful spouses who help them. It is such a blessing. I am grateful for the things that my husband does do. He works really hard to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I am grateful for his priesthood and the blessings that it has brought to our home. I'm grateful for the blessing of him completing an honorable mission. I am grateful that he is still here. I have been really worried about him as of late. He had open heart surgery on his mission to repair a bicuspid aortic valve. He had a heart valve transplant. This last week he started having severe heart palpetations. He went to the emergency room on Thursday night and they told him he had had too much caffiene and too much stress (probably from work) and so he took off work on Friday. Back to work this week. But I worry about him. He has a cardiology appointment on Friday this week. I'm hoping everything really is ok. It is hard with him... but it would be even harder without him. Please keep him in your prayers. He had his surgery over 9 years ago, with no issues, no problems. Here's to hoping for several more.



I don't mean to vent.... i just needed to share. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and he does alot for our family. I just know that if he wanted he could do so much more. Thanks for reading. :)

My Sorrow, life regret

My sorrow is that two people that I respect and admire for different reasons have now passed beyond the veil. My prophet Gordon B. Hinkley Died on Sunday night and my Grandfather Donald Dickson Died on Monday Night. My regret is not getting to know either of them better.

I thought I was ok on Monday when I heard the news about Gordon B. Hinkley... I could go to work and think about the wonderful things that he accomplished in the church and the love that he had for his fellow brothers and sisters. I thought about when I went and watched conference at the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City, UT. I was single, and living in Provo, UT at the time. My room-mates and I slept out overnight on Temple Square to get (free) tickets to Conference. We met others who were waiting out to get tickets.. Sang songs and drank hot cocoa.... It was a wonderful night,... then we got tickets at like 8am and then ran to the car to get dressed... It was cold that night so we were bundled up. The car was parked at the Stadium down the street from the square. I remember waiting to get in to the tabernacle and singing songs like we "We thank the O God for a Prophet" and the "Spirit of God" I remember the spirit being so strong that day... Just to sit there and watch the twelve apostles walk in and then the prophet walk in I was standing and singing and then It was as if I was standing right next to him. I was in the very back of the Tabernacle on the second floor. sqooshed with no legroom and I was right there. I had the confirmation that I saw a man, who walks, talks and is close to God. I could feel my saviors love for me. I KNEW with out a shadow of a doubt that he was a man called from God and that The Church was TRUE! It was a revelation I had known was true... But I think it wasn't as confirmed as it was on that day. I will always remember him and the Joy that he brought to those around him. Those who were able to feel of his sweet spirit and his love of the savior and for all man kind. I will miss him until we meet again.

Next my Grandpa Dickson. It wasn't your typical relationship between Grandfather and Grandchild I don't think... I didn't see him very much. I met him when I was young girl in San Antonio TX. And then he was absent out of my life until I moved to Virginia after I had graduated High School. I was a nanny in DC and my Aunt Cindy had come out to visit. She had mentioned Grandpa Dickson and I visited with him after she left or just before. We met in Downtown Oldtown Alexandria... We went to one of his favorite Thai restaurants. He spoke their native tongue and ordered for me... I had never had Thai food before. It was very interesting I like the Peanut chicken the best. Mild of course. But he thought it was funny. I asked lots of questions about him. We talked about my mother and my family in TX. It was a wonderful visit. And then he was absent again for a while until after I was married. He helped my husband and I when we were in a pickle once. I was very grateful for his generosity and his loving spirit towards us. Even though we weren't "Close" as one might say. But we were closer than others. I tried to keep in contact with him and his wife Nancy throughout the years. Nancy gave me some House selling advice once or twice. I enjoyed my conversations with Nancy. It was nice to get to know her what little I had. I don't remember actually meeting her in person. I'm sure I will at the funeral. (How unfortunate it had to be under such cercumstances.) I am sorry for her loss, my loss, my families loss and my regret is that I didn't know more about him. I didn't spend more time with him and Nancy. To actually KNOW my grandfather. I am grateful for the opportunities that I did have. He will be missed and I will always treasure him as my grandfather. I miss you.

I have learned in my life how fragil, how special life is and how family is so very important... It gets you thru the good times and the bad times. I have lost in the last 6 months two grandfathers. I miss them terribly... I wasn't able to go to my Grandpa Frazer's funeral. I was so sad that he passed away. He was the one I remember mostly. as well as my Grandpa Lancaster. Who passed away I think 18 months ago or so. It is strange that in two years I have lost all of my grandfathers. But I guess that is the way that life is. I just don't want to miss time with those that are here now. I find that family history is important as well. It helps us get a feel for where we came from and our heritage. A further sense of belonging. I am grateful for the wonderful men in my life who have helped me to grow and who have been an example for me in my life of husbands/fathers and how a man should treat a women. Thank you.

May we no longer have life regrets of what time we should have spent with family... We should just do it. May our sorrows be turned to joy as we remember the men in our lives. Thanks for everything.

A New Year

It's a new year full of wonder and adventure. What will this year hold? What will it bring? What resolutions are we going to try and succeed, or try and fail? I know that a lot can happen in a year. Looking back on this year alot has happened.

At the beginning of this year I was a stay at home mom. Now I work full-time. My children all moved up in age and sizes (quite a few). I went from having two cars to one. I went from not seeing my husband that much due to a demanding job and long commute to sharing in the commute and seeing him more often and less of the kids :(. We have had members of my family graduate from high school, have babies, move, divorce, change jobs, change hair style and color, change weight and height, some are far away and some are closer. Oh, what adventures a year can bring.

We have been on several trips this year. We've been to Palmyra, NY and the Hill Camorah. We have visited Canada, seen Niagrah Falls Canada and NY. We have been to Texas to visit family and see Jennifer graduate high school. We have been to NY city to see Bill's sister Jenny graduate college. We have been to Outer Banks, NC for our Memorial Day vacation. Bill has visited California for a work conference and Germany for work. We have been on many weekend travels exploring our beautiful country. We've been to skyline Drive to see snow and hike. We've driven to Chambersburg PA just for fun and to see where some of our favorite food are made, like the Martins brand chips, and an old candy shop that has been around since the 1800's. Fresh organic Milk from a creamery..mmmm so yummy. We have had lots of wonderful adventures in our little VW Golf. It's amazing how much it can hold and how much we've done and seen in one year. Next year we may even have more adventures.

We have family moving closer to us (within a 9 hr drive) just a weekend trip away. We have promotions and raises this year. We have our 10 year anniversary coming up this year. WOW has it really been that long! yep i guess so. We have kids changing grades and growing faster than we'd like. We have trips to plan and take. Time to spend with family and friends. More friends to make and keep. May this new year bring all the best for you and yours. I know we will try to make this the best year ever. Full of family and friends and lots of laughter. Happy New Year and Happy Adventures :)