A little scared

Well, It's been awhile since I've written. I've got alot going on here. We just found out Friday evening (April 25, 2008). That my husband Bill will have to have another open heart surgery. His aortic root is twice the size it should be and could burst.. at which point instant death... yea scary. Well, he is been told to lower stress, no heavy lifting and to take it easy until the surgery.. which we don't quite have a date for as of yet. WE see his surgen on May 9th and then he will set the surgery date. Bill has had an open heart surgery before I met him when he was coming off of his mission. He had the ROSS proceedure done. His heart at the time was the size of a dinner plate. He almost died then as well. He was blessed by his mission president and the surgen Dr. Doty (sp?) at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City Utah. They thought the proceedure would be good for at least 20 yrs or so... but unfortunatly as we have found out. That only 12 or 13 years later... Time for another surgery. He isn't as terrified as I am... He has been thru this once before. But, I haven't and I have three boys to think about. I'm trying to work and stay focused on the things I need to do... but it is hard. I am lucky to have a support network here. My mom is here, my husbands family is here(they've been thru this once before) and my ward and friends. I feel at this point still kind of in shock and numb. I'm going thru the motions. I don't want him mowing the lawn but he said that the doctor said he could. I just don't want to take any chances. Not only is his Aortic root twice the size but he has a leak on one of his valves from his previous surgery. So, his blood pressure is fine. but he really isn't doing well. He is tired alot. and I feel somewhat helpless as I'm not sure how to help him. I'm trying to be strong. Please keep us in your prayers. Thanks for letting me share. :)

Days with the boys

I've been able to spend a few days with my boys this week, as I've had the pleasure of working from home. On Monday I got a call from the school nurse she mentioned that Bryen (my oldest) had a strange rash on his face. I didn't know why he would've gotten a rash, he didn't have one that morning when I dropped him off at the sitters. Their sitter said he didn't have one when she dropped him off at school either. So we were in a quandry as to why he had a rash. He made it thru school and then when I got home I noticed it... His brother Braeden had some on his cheeks too... really strange. We put some Hydrocortizone cream on it and gave him some benedryl for the itching. I took them to the doctors yesturday and he said it was a form of rotovirus or rodovirus... something like that. He said it was a quick moving virus and was here quickly and gone quickly. Nothing really to do for it but wait it out. He mentioned that what I was already doing for it was good. but not to exceed 5 days with the cortisone cream or it would stain their skin. That i'd never heard before. But luckily... this morning, neither had a rash on their face and were back at school. So just as soon as it came it was gone. So I stayed home yesturday and today they are so fun to have around. I hope that I can make it a perminate thing working from home at least a few days a week. I like having daylight with the boys and doing homework with them. It is hard with my 2 hr commute to spend much time with the boys.



I got a haircut this weekend and It's too short. It's really short. I seem to get haircuts too short. It hasn't been this short in years. Bill doesn't like it he said luckily it will grow out. He is hoping it grows fast. That is one way I know it's a bad haircut.



I enjoy reading my cousin Mimi's blog. I get uplifted from reading her blog. I am encouraged to know that relationships where husbands are truely equals with their spouses do exist. I am working on that in mine, but it is really hard. My husband isn't as supportive of the things that I need to do as I would like. I have a hard time getting him to even make dinner when I'm so swamped. It would be nice if he helped out around the house more. Maybe I wouldn't be so swamped all the time. I keep feeling like I can't breathe... my house is so messy all the time now. I can't even think sometimes to make dinner. I am grateful for those truely blessed in my family who have wonderful spouses who help them. It is such a blessing. I am grateful for the things that my husband does do. He works really hard to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I am grateful for his priesthood and the blessings that it has brought to our home. I'm grateful for the blessing of him completing an honorable mission. I am grateful that he is still here. I have been really worried about him as of late. He had open heart surgery on his mission to repair a bicuspid aortic valve. He had a heart valve transplant. This last week he started having severe heart palpetations. He went to the emergency room on Thursday night and they told him he had had too much caffiene and too much stress (probably from work) and so he took off work on Friday. Back to work this week. But I worry about him. He has a cardiology appointment on Friday this week. I'm hoping everything really is ok. It is hard with him... but it would be even harder without him. Please keep him in your prayers. He had his surgery over 9 years ago, with no issues, no problems. Here's to hoping for several more.



I don't mean to vent.... i just needed to share. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and he does alot for our family. I just know that if he wanted he could do so much more. Thanks for reading. :)